Note to Self
Things I've learned from experience
Don't use "the dog ate my homework" excuse any more than once or twice a week. Some of the teachers are starting to get wise.
Find out why everyone but me, even the teachers, seem to skip school on Saturdays and Sundays.
When bored at work at Burger King, refrain from yelling out, "Food fight!" It took forever to clean up that mess, some of the customers were asked to leave, and when the managers saw it, I just knew someone's pay was going to be docked.
It also does not become a Burger King worker to hang out in the ball pit of the play place during work (they never let us have any fun).
Unfortunately, I do not have the authority to fire other emplyees.
At church, when the offering plates are being passed around, keep in mind the eighth commandment: "Thou shalt not steal."
When Jesus said, "Come to me, and I will give you rest", He didn't mean you're supposed to sleep in church.
When driving, always remember one simple rule: Gas on the left, brake on the right.
If you get pulled over and the cops try to give you a ticket, your friend Mr. Washington usually cannot change their mind.
I should learn how to read one of these days.
Also, learn from experience: On TV, when they say "Don't try this at home", they really mean it!
Play-doh should not go in the microwave, nor should the cat be washed with the laundry.
Take some pointers: play Star Wars music at my wedding. But no need for a big, fancy reception. Burger King will do just fine.
Fire is hot! Ouch!